lrgsoup

Feb 11

Someone came up to me in such a big distress because we don’t have WordPerfect on our machines anymore. So I told this guy to use Microsoft Word because it’s the same sort of thing. Well, the guy told me that he needed to save the resume he’ll be typing, and since his disk had been used previously with WordPerfect it therefore couldn’t be used for Microsoft Word. He formatted the disk for Wordperfect, he kept insisting, so it wouldn’t work for Microsoft Word. Obviously I couldn’t slap him on the face, but I wanted to. [codehappy] http://iheartquotes.com/fortune/show/36559

[video]

MORTGAGEOne day, little Johnny went to his father and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny’s father said, "Johnny, we have an $80,000 mortgage, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas." Christmas came around and Johnny asked his dad again. His father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high. We can’t afford it. Ask again some other time." Two days later, Johnny was walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father said, "Why are you leaving?" Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say you were pulling out and Mommy said you should wait because she was coming too." "I’ll be damned if I’m going to get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"[codehappy] http://iheartquotes.com/fortune/show/13696

[video]

A heap of discarded garments by the bed suggested that Verence had masteredthe art of hanging up clothes as practised by half the population of theworld, and that he had equally had difficulty with the complex topologicalmanoeuvres necessary to turn the socks the right way out.(Lords and Ladies)[discworld] http://iheartquotes.com/fortune/show/6853

[video]